🇳🇱 Dutch version
written by Counselor (vertrouwenspersoon)
Relationships at work are more common than you might think! Whether it’s close friendships, neighborly connections, family ties, or even romantic relationships—working alongside people you know well can be a lot of fun! But, like anything in life, it can also bring along some unique challenges.
With this guide, we hope to encourage transparency and shed light on workplace relationships from various perspectives—whether for those directly involved, their colleagues, or the work environment as a whole. In this way, we can collectively create a workplace where everyone feels respected, comfortable, and treated fairly.
Having a close personal connection with a colleague can be highly rewarding. At Voys, friendships and social connections often extend beyond work, with colleagues coming together to play sports, enjoy after-work drinks, organize game nights, share meals, attend concerts, or even travel and visit festivals together. These shared experiences create a sense of community that enriches both personal and professional relationships.
Of course, close connections can also add a layer of complexity, especially if you’re in a position to impact each other’s work, such as during Value Sessions, feedback discussions, or contract renewals. To avoid conflicts of interest, it’s a good idea (and sometimes necessary!) to take a step back when decisions about each other’s work are on the table. Doing so helps maintain a fair workplace and prevents other colleagues from feeling uncomfortable or questioning the fairness of decisions.
By “relationship,” we mean any form of existing or newly developed friendship, neighborly connection, family tie, or romantic relationship that goes beyond being just good colleagues.
"Just good colleagues" are those with a friendly and professional work connection without deep personal ties in or outside of work. While the line between these can sometimes be a bit blurry, we trust everyone to use their judgment to be mindful of this boundary.
The possible challenges
Strong relationships have many benefits, of course: they foster a positive work atmosphere, boost creativity, and improve efficiency. Colleagues coordinate tasks more smoothly, support each other, and respond quickly to challenges, enhancing performance and motivation. However, this close collaboration also comes with certain challenges; the line between professional and personal can blur, potentially leading to conflicts of interest, mismatched expectations, or discomfort among other colleagues.
This summary highlights how a personal bond can influence workplace dynamics.
Struggling with giving or receiving feedback | You might risk not being honest with your feedback, which can stall personal and professional growth and leave work issues unresolved. | Colleagues might feel like your feedback isn’t evenly distributed or that you're less critical of the person because of your relationship, which can damage trust in the feedback culture and the team's honesty. |
Preferential treatment or bias | By giving (unconscious) preferential treatment to your relationship (partner/family/friend), you lose objectivity and create an imbalance in situations such as task distribution, which can undermine your own work and frustrate other colleagues. | Colleagues might feel excluded or unfairly treated, which could lead to tension, less collaboration, and ultimately lower engagement within the team. Some might feel left out, which weakens group cohesion and could create smaller, less inclusive subgroups within the team. |
for the relationship holders | for the colleagues/third party | |
Risk of boundary-crossing behavior | A close relationship can sometimes lead to crossing boundaries, like discussing confidential information or making informal agreements that go against Voys’ values. | Colleagues might feel uncomfortable if they notice certain agreements are being bypassed, which creates mistrust and lowers transparency within the team. |
Professional boundaries blur | It becomes harder to make objective decisions, which can make your own work less reliable. The effectiveness of your work might decrease, and colleagues may notice you’re spreading your attention thin. | Colleagues might lose trust in your judgment, which could lead to uncertainty about the fairness of decisions and task assignments within the team. |
Reactions from other colleagues | When colleagues act differently around you, you might miss out on important information, which can limit your insight and contribution to the team. | Colleagues might feel reluctant to share their concerns or feedback, which harms openness and collaboration within the team and creates an unsafe work environment. |
Work-life balance under pressure | Spending too much time or energy on a colleague you have a bond with can lower your focus or motivation, affecting the quality and speed of your work. Or, you might find yourself talking too much about work in your private time. | |
Dependence in decision-making | Relying on the opinion of a colleague you have a personal bond with can slow down decision-making and increase uncertainty, reducing your independence. | Colleagues might get the impression that decisions are being made by a small group, which creates division within the team and can lead to a lack of transparency and collaboration. |
Got -or getting- close with a colleague?
If you’re forming a strong bond with a colleague, open communication with each other and the team (or circle) is key! Be straightforward and honest about the situation. If you notice that personal matters are affecting work dynamics, it’s a good idea to consider stepping back from any decisions or projects that might involve your “relationship.” Setting clear boundaries between work and personal life can help you both stay professional. It often helps to maintain a bit of distance at work too—for example, not always sitting together, keeping lunch and break time flexible, and staying professional in conversations. And if those adjustments aren’t enough, it’s always an option to consider a different role—or even a new workplace outside of Voys—to help maintain a healthy balance.
- Is there a requirement to disclose relationships?
At Voys, there’s no formal requirement to report personal relationships at work, whether romantic or friendly, and we don’t keep a formal record of them either. Still, in certain cases—like hiring situations—it’s important to be transparent. If you know a candidate personally, please let the Hiring Team () know so we can set clear expectations and ensure trust in the process.
While it’s not mandatory, the People Circle appreciates it when colleagues proactively share information about close connections. This openness helps create a safe work environment that values transparency and supports a culture of trust.
- What if you’re just starting a (romantic) relationship and want to keep it private?
Sometimes, relationships develop naturally, and it’s understandable if you’re not ready for everyone to know right away. Not every situation requires a public announcement. However, if you choose to keep things quiet, it’s still a good idea to be mindful of any overlapping work tasks or projects. Consider talking to a confidential advisor or external counselor, who can help you navigate any potential conflicts without needing to share the relationship with the whole team. This keeps things balanced and ensures you don’t run into problems down the line, so you can share the news at your own pace when the time feels right.
What if you’re a third party?
You can help create a work culture where everyone feels comfortable discussing their situation openly. By encouraging an environment of trust and transparency, you help make the workplace a more open and positive space for everyone.
Feel free to express if you’re uncomfortable with someone’s role in decisions and suggest that they step back from certain projects or tasks. If you need guidance, you can always reach out to People Circle roles. Listen carefully to colleagues, offer nonjudgmental support, and bring up any issues constructively. This openness encourages others to share their own experiences honestly, which fosters a supportive work environment.
- Unsure how to bring it up?
Giving feedback can be tricky, especially if it feels awkward. Here are some tips for smoother conversations: Choose a good time, ideally when you both have space to listen, a pick a format and location that suits both of you. A tip from us: maybe even take a walk together—this often creates a more relaxed atmosphere.
Stay authentic to yourself and share how the situation feels from your perspective. Invite your colleague’s perspective, too. By using specific examples, you can help clarify why something might impact work.
If you need extra support communicating feedback clearly and kindly, reach out to the @Feedback Booster or check out tips on this page for good feedback. If you’re experiencing specific challenges, the People Circle, is always available to brainstorm with you.
In short
Talking about personal relationships at work and setting clear expectations is crucial for a healthy workplace where everyone feels welcome. By bringing this into our everyday work, we’re fostering a culture where personal connections add value without causing discomfort or conflict. Privacy and inclusion are our priorities; and if any personal or work-related tensions arise, the People Circle is here to help, so everyone can collaborate smoothly and professionally.